elsa lamartina
VISUAL ARTIST
I dreamed of being good
When I was little my mother bought women's magazines every week such as Gioia, Amica, Grazia, Annabella and I was fascinated by all those good, beautiful, successful women, perfectly made up, always well dressed.
I cut out the images and kept them as holy cards, they were the goal to achieve,a daydream then, over time, I realized that real women are different from those in magazines.
These dreams don't belong to the night but are found in a place around our mind and that we can only see when we move away from the concreteness of reality.
Pipe dreams, escape routes, aspirations, desires, hopes, expectations…
Thus it was bornI dreamed of being good.
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Heraclitus maintained that the becoming of life is not a simple alternation, but a real conflict of opposites.
There is no day without night, health without sickness, wakefulness without sleep, or good without evil.
And so woman can't just be a good, good mother, wife, daughter, or teacher, just because she's a woman and therefore expected to be that way.
One day a teacher of mine, seeing me cry because I had made a mess, told me"the woman has all her figures within her: the mother, the whore, the wise one, the friend, the witch, femininity is made up of all these figures that coexist in conflict creating harmony" _cc781905-5cde-3194-bb3b- 136bad5cf58d_
We are not bad mothers because we regret having children, we are not bad women if we don't want children, we are not bad daughters if we want to separate from our parents, we are not bad women if we betray our husbands or partners, we are not bad if we have sexual desires, we are not bad women if we want professional and not family success, we are not bad women if we wear lipstick.
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This project was born from the creation of an image which then became street art, posting posters and I have posted them on the walls of Milan.
Later, through a tam tam of messages, emails, posts on social media and thanks above all to word of mouth, I launched an appeal to collect testimonials from women who have come into contact with their shadowy side.
Title "I dreamed of being good".
To date it has taken the form of a self-produced fanzine but my wish is that this project grows and that it can take other forms and can be of help to those who read it or lead to a reflection, open up a doubt, in short, find a new prospect.
There are ten stories collected here, I have not applied any changes to the texts that have been sent to me, I have left them as they came from the hearts of the women who wrote them. These women wanted to share and make their testimony available to make it collective, and for this I thank them from the bottom of my heart.
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I dreamed of being good is a work in progress project so, if you want to share your story, whether it's a dream, a wish, a confession, an episode or something else, you can send an email todreaming of being good@gmail.com
If you want to remain anonymous you can send an anonymous email via many platforms that allow it such ashttps://anonymousemail.me
anonymity is the fundamental principle on which this project is based every email that arrives is read and deleted immediately.